The less I speak about Chelsea’s season, the better. Rafa Benitez is still ‘interim ‘manager (that word is so important it’s not funny). What Mr. Abramovich was thinking we don’t know? The only things we fans can do is protest in the form of banners and chants telling him about the problem. What we do know for sure is that the ‘Fat Spanish Waiter’ will be gone in the summer. Whenever something goes wrong, as typical human behavior would suggest we’ll blame the person and the person responsible for the appointment. On the other hand, we’ll never give credit where it’s due. Roman has hired and fired the best and worst in the business. I always wonder what it’d be like to live a life like Roman Abramovich. Who doesn’t like to have power? The kick that one gets out of hiring and firing those under and in a weaker position is of great interest to me. What Roman does on an almost yearly basis is done on a smaller scale in our very own households. Why think about Roman when this hiring and firing happens in front of me on a regular basis. I’ve seen it happen in front of me and I can’t wait to do it for the first time.
My friends, I’m talking about the hiring and firing of maids and drivers. Something that our parents do on a regular basis. If you ask me, maids and drivers are as important to a household as managers to a football club. No one gives them importance when they’re there, we only realize what they bring once they’re gone.
We have mobile phones and what not to communicate. Most of our parents aren’t very tech savvy but their networking in recruiting a maid / driver makes me hang my head in shame. The entire neighborhood within no matter of time is aware that there’s a vacancy for a maid / driver.
Our networking’s good, parents much better but the best networking you’ll ever see is amongst the maids and drivers. If gossip is something that interests you, all you need to do is spend more time in the kitchen or the nearest chai stall in the neighborhood to be well versed with who slept with whom, who didn’t sleep with whom, who hits their kids, who wears torn underwear, who told the husband / wife they have to attend a meeting but didn’t. You see where this is going don’t you. These people are most than just your source.
Coming back to the recruitment process, all that one needs to do is ‘announce’ that you need a maid / driver. Some of the ways to do this is tell your friends in the neighborhood or tell a maid / driver. Within a matter of minutes your door bell / mobile phone rings with someone saying ‘ Sahab, Memsahab, aapne driver / maid ke liye bola tha ‘
This is networking at its very best. You just sit back and watch in excitement. You know exactly who this starts and how’s it going to end. And the best part is, the best is yet to come.
After the ‘announcement’ stage comes stage two. I call this the ‘what have you done/ can you do’ stage. Past history is questioned, verified and what not. One of the benefits of being in power is that you can ask anything you want. The best question asked is ‘Why did you leave your previous job?’ I love the answers that these people give. This is no less than a viva for them. Looking at some of the candidates, one can tell they need the job more than you need them.
Drivers just have to do one thing, drive. What type of maid do you want is key. Maids will tell you then and there ‘Madam, kapde nahi karegi mein’, ‘Katka, jhadoo sirf’. If your stars are lucky you will get an ‘all rounder’ maid or mom will have to appoint more than once maid.
Post this comes the salary, the ‘ khich khich ‘ stage. ‘ Bartan ka itna aur jhadoo ka itna’, ‘ Sahab office Churchgate mein hai’, ‘ Mahine mein itna din nahi aayegi’. I don’t know how the number is decided but in the end it’s all good and the person is hired. Congratulations.
A few weeks pass and we come to stage four, the ‘ Realization’ stage. It is here that the person who does the hiring gets the answer to ‘ Apna kaam is se hone wala hai kya?’ If the answer is no we give the person ‘time’. If things still don’t improve its bye bye. Repeat process from step one. Hurray.
If you’re decision is spot on you’ll tell yourself and the whole world what a wonderful person the driver / maid is. This is where everything they do is right. You feel you have found ‘The Special ONE’. The whole day will be spent in singing praises of the person you appointed.
But should this not be the case, then it’s time for a replacement. Reasons for things not going as per plan could be working conditions, working hours, ego battle between the employer and the employee, never ending demands of the employee. This is where ‘unrest in the camp’ happens and nothing goes right. The employer now needs to hire more than the need to fire. Things have to be right again.
We come to the day which though sad is fun to watch. The ‘ Bye-Bye’ day. But before we say goodbye, we prepare for the future by already appointing who is going to come next. So this stage is nothing more than fake formality that needs to be done so that there’s no ill will amongst the parties involved. They take their money and leave. Sometimes a huge argument arises and they still leave. On the rarest of occasions does the employer decide to give them yet another chance (yes, at this stage). The house breathes a huge sigh of relief when he / she shut the door. We’re back to step one. Yaay!!!
Getting the right maid / driver is a task in itself. It sounds like an easy job but it’s only when they don’t come and you’re asked to do what they’re paid for do you realize what a back breaking job these ladies and men do for a living. We might think they’re arrogant and don’t like to talk much but we must look at the other side and see the situation where they’re coming from. A sad part of this profession is that age is not a criterion. We see kids as errand boys in so many places. They’re supposed to be running and playing. Not running to get vegetables and eggs. On the other side we see such old ladies working in households doing a job that is not in their best interests’ health wise. We have the money so we have the power. It all seems and sounds great to hire and fire but I don’t think our parents enjoy it when we ask a maid / driver to leave.
So the next time you criticize Roman and the other guys out there in the business, just think about what I just said. They like us are people, and people make mistakes. It’s the realization and rectification that he / she does that counts. Because at the end of the day we all want what’s good for us and the people we love the most.
P.S. Mera Jose Aayega
