very much single

My very first blog spoke about goodbyes, and then what followed were condolences, working harder to be on the other side. Even though what was written was true and straight from the heart, I made people emotional, they realized that things were going to end and we’re not prepared for it. So yeah, I didn’t start things in the happiest way possible.

So let’s talk about something good, something nice. Let’s talk about Love (Pyaar/Ishq/Mohabat )

I am very much single. You’re supposed to fall in love when you are READY, not when you’re LONELY. I am READY xD

So let me write the question that everyone will ask me – WHAT ‘TYPE’ of girl do I want?

This blog shall talk exactly about this. So what is my TYPE?

Hindu, Christian, Punjabi, Buddhist, Parsi, Sindhi, Gujarati, South Indian, Bengali. Religion, caste and all that minority group bullshit is something that you’ll find in a ‘ India’s Rich Culture and Heritage ‘ textbook , not inside my head.  (See what I did there, I didn’t mention someone for a good reason. Read the line again). As long as she has 2 hand, 2 legs, 1 nose, 2 ears, 2 eyes , 2 lips , 2 breasts , I don’t care . Tall, short, fat, thin, curvy, flat anyone will do. This is the least of my concerns.

Love I think is done on an emotional level and not using rationale. But I see and do things on a very practical level and thus I’ve made a list using not only my heart but the organ that we call the brain  which should make it easier for my friends who are trying their level best to help me find the SPECIAL ONE. This list will help them filter the choices and lead them to my TYPE of girl.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

·         Should be able to walk as fast as me – This is the most important rule for me and a major reason why my friends have been so unsuccessful. I am yet to find a girl who can walk as fast as me. It goes without saying that you’ll spend a lot of time walking with your loved one and it simply doesn’t make sense if she can’t walk at the same pace as you. I have seen how fast some girls walk and I just cannot tune myself to that pace. You crawl when you are a baby, not when you are in your early twenties.

·         Chicken Girl – Pigs are filthy animals, fine. Cows are holy, I can understand. Water from the sea is dirty so I don’t eat fish, benefit of the doubt. But for heaven’s sake please eat chicken. I just can’t see myself with a girl who has stopped / never tasted chicken in her life. I cannot visualize myself eating butter chicken while the girl sitting beside me is having muttar paneer. Having a vegetarian girlfriend is just not going to work.

·         Dropping/Picking up Theory – Love overcomes all distances and barriers, with me there will always be exceptions. I shall state with an example

I stay in Versova, Andheri (West), if she stays for example in Mulund and we have to ‘spend time on day together ‘in Colaba. I am NOT taking a train from Andheri to Dadar and another train from Dadar to Mulund and then another train from Mulund to CST to pick her up and go together. And you’ve got to be crazy if you think I am going to repeat the return journey. Love makes you do stupid things where you go to any ‘lengths’ to keep the other person happy. Let’s be practical here (Girl from the central line is going to be a problem, So is Kandivali, Borivali , let’s not even talk about Virar).

On the other hand, I am also very considerate if you stay close to Andheri or we’re going to a place that is convenient for both of us I will spend an hour before the decided date waiting for you below your building (I have a weakness for reaching places well before time). So you see, I am a nice guy , who thinks practically.

·         Should have basic knowledge about the world of sports – And by sports I don’t just mean cricket. If you only watch cricket then I’m sorry, If you watch football please give me your number, If you’re one of those few girls who supports a club by the name of Chelsea. Why haven’t we met yet?  Having a girlfriend who knows a little bit or two about the world of sport is a major turn on for me.

·         No phone calls during football matches – The girl that likes me should know what football means to me. I have no shame in admitting that Football will always come before her. There is absolutely no point debating this. Those two hours where I sit in front of the TV belong to me and me alone. I don’t entertain any phone calls when I watch a football match. This applies to family, friend and will also apply to girlfriend. Don’t want any ‘Missing you ‘, ‘Hi Honey ‘nonsense when I am watching football. I schedule my studying program around the timings of football matches; it’ll be really helpful if she does the same. Will never say no to help. But there is a time and place for everything. Those two hours clearly aren’t.

·         Sense of humour – One thing which I find in very few girls. Major requirement for me. There should never be a dull moment with her. The ‘time flies with you ‘type of girl. At the same time should be graceful when at the receiving end of jokes. Being a good sport counts.

·         Should not use a Blackberry – I don’t want to waste time explaining why. Scroll down for next point.

·         Favourite colour must NOT be PINK – Fantasize about Edward Cullen for all I care, but please no pink.

·         Should not expect flowers and bouquets. One of the last things that I’ll be wasting my money on. I cannot get them for free since I am not a gardener/florist.  One thing that you can expect from me (and loads of it) is chocolates. Rest assured.

·         And last but not the least; she like me should be a kid trapped in an adult’s body. I know one when I see one.

And the search continues …