WHY I HATE SAYING GOODBYE

Despite the love of my life beating the team I hate the most 2 night’s ago I wasn’t in the best of moods yesterday. The occasion was for celebration and jubilation but football was not the topic that I spent thinking the entire day. Barcelona don’t lose everyday and when the team you support ( I have a tattoo of the team crest mind you ) beats them you should be only thinking about this, but such was not the case. I hate those ‘life is not just football ‘days. Yesterday was one such day. 

In life we are judged by the decisions we take, but if you ask me it’s the decisions that we don’t take that come back to haunt us and give us a ‘If only I had ‘feeling. There is ample time to think about what I have to do and what I don’t. I must now leave no scope for regret and thought for hindsight. There are choices in front of me and I must choose one. I know what the right path is for me, but the right path is always the hardest one to tread on.

People always tell me to say hi and bye on the phone. It is not that I am in an urgent hurry to cut the phone but from the start I hated goodbyes. Sad endings that end with disappointment are things that I am not used to, don’t like and takes ages for me to get over. It might not be the end, if it’s not good is what people many believe should be the way to live life but where do things pan out that way. We all live in that hope that we will remain in touch but the harsh reality is that best friends gradually end up wishing each other only on birthdays and special occasions.

We form bonds with complete strangers during the course of our life and it is these bonds that are very close to my heart. We share secrets with these strangers who gradually earn the term ‘friend ‘. We tell these friends things that we can only tell them for a reason best explained in a psychology book. We laugh, we cry, we drink and we dance together not caring for what will happen tomorrow. But it is the time to say goodbye that hurts the most.

In the past 8 months, I have met the best and the worst people in 4 walled room. We have spent lunches, dinners, and ‘Happy Hours ‘together. Played cricket, sang in trains, broken hotel equipment during trips, the works. These things mentioned above is what most of us do in our college life and was the prime reason why I didn’t want to work so soon. When we enjoy this we go into such a zone where we don’t realize that all these things are one day going to come to an end. And it is this end that I don’t want to reach. I don’t want to say GOODBYE.

I have ten more days to choose what is right and what is wrong for me. I have to choose something. This cannot be decided in the spur of the moment.  When I stepped into the classroom I knew that I had come here only to study and study alone.  But do we share the same sentiment when we leave the classroom. Powerpoint and Word files are the last thing that matter to me. It is what I did with a certain people within those 4 walls that I hold closest to my heart. The time spent with these people is going to end in some time and this is what I am not ready for. I will have to part ways with friends who have become brothers and girls who have become good counsellors (in certain departments).

There will be people who I won’t even be saying goodbye to. There will be some who I will be saying goodbye to. And last but not the least, there will a selected few who I do not want to say goodbye to. And it’s this last category that is the reason for these sleepless nights (and afternoons).

10 days to decide. I’ll need much more than that

P.S – I need some Old Monk. Wipes Tears  : (